Tuesday, December 11, 2012

me : foster parenthood : all boy


Growing up, I was surrounded by boys. I had all brothers, my uncles who were around me most of the time were male, my cousins I played with most often were male, many of the kids in town I played with were male. There were some best friends who were girls, but at school, we always played some game with the boys. Even when I got into high school I could be found most often at lunch time playing some pick-up game of basketball instead of sitting on the steps, eating candy bars, and talking about who knows what. So when I was thinking about having children, I always said I wanted girls. Even, maybe, all girls. The people I told that to usually said I was crazy, but I didn't think so. 



And then... we had our battles with infertility, then we became foster parents to a little boy and little girl, and that was a lot of fun. And when they left, I still kept thinking to myself that when we got little ones that we would keep, they'd be girls. Then we got BB. 



I fell in love with him the moment I met him. He was adorable. He was a butterball of a little boy with jet black hair, two little teeth in the front on bottom, and suddenly I couldn't imagine not having a boy anymore. His little boyish charm grew on me immediately and I realized how incredibly fun a little boy could be! Instead of dolls there is cars, instead of dress-up there is dirt, instead of coloring there is loud, rough play with hide-and-seek, chasing, and tickling. And there is laughter. Lots and lots of laughter

We stack blocks, we build huge towers just for him to destroy them and burst into fits of laughter. He wrestles with our dog Lorie and they get so rough with each other but never hurt the other. We let him explore things thoroughly, from the dirt patch under the trees to a water puddle in the driveway. We let him be all boy and he couldn't be happier. Neither could I. 



Sunday evening turned out to be very eventful. Originally, I had planned for BB and I to start out walking to church. I thought it would be good for him to play outside and I would take the stroller in case he got too tired. And if we weren't getting there fast enough, Joey could pick us up on his way to church. Then, when I went outside to get the stroller ready, I realized it was fuh-reezing, and that nixed that plan. So, I went for Plan B, which was to get dinner prepped so when we got home from church I could just pop it into the oven and we'd all have a nice dinner together. But that plan got nixed as well. 



As I was in the kitchen prepping dinner, BB was in there with me (as he usually is) playing with various items in the drawers as he's done many times before. And, as he's also done many times before, he got out one of my measuring spoons and stuck his little finger in the hole at the end (I guess where you could hang it up if you wanted). Even though he's done this many times before, he's growing so fast, and this time, his little finger didn't come out. It was stuck. Way stuck. The spoon was all the way on his finger and the more I tried to get it off, the more red his finger got, the more he cried, and the more I started to freak out. I tried lotion, cold water and soap, nothing. So, completely panicked, I took off my apron, grabbed his bag and my purse, and loaded him in the Tahoe intending to take him to the emergency room. 



All that kept running through my head was how I used to watch that show "Rescue 911" and  one episode this little girl or boy stuck their finger in an iguana's mouth and the iguana clamped down on their finger. Not biting it, or breaking the skin or anything, just clamped down and wouldn't let go. The finger started turning colors and they called 9-1-1, and there was a big panic because the circulation was being cut off and there was fear the little one might lose their finger. So here I am, with my little boy with a measuring spoon on a finger that was starting to turn purple, thinking he was going to lose his finger. 

When I left the house, I couldn't help me think for a second how this was probably not going to be my last trip to the ER with this boy. This boy is all boy. He does everything to the fullest. He laughs hard, he plays hard, he cries hard, and one day, all to soon, he'll get hurt, hard. 


Then I had a moment of clarity and called a friend who is a nurse. I asked if her and her husband could cut the spoon off and lo and behold, she thought they could. I figured this would save me the time of driving to the ER and waiting to be seen, so to her house we went. And within a few minutes of getting there, they had the spoon cut off, the finger was returning to normal color, I cried, and then BB was off playing like nothing had happened. All boy



I know that everything ended just fine, and we ended up having a wonderful evening after all, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking about all the bumps and bruises, scratches and scrapes he's already gotten himself into, and how many more he's going to get. I mean, I got a black eye and broke my class ring playing in some of those pick-up basketball games at lunch. On a mission trip, I broke a finger playing a pick-up game of basketball. BB accidentally head-butted a table Sunday morning before church. I guess he gets that playing hard thing from me. 



My house is littered with cars and trucks of all shapes and sizes. He can sit for long periods of time just lining up his cars, racing them around the room, then lining them up neatly all over again. He's all boy. And even with the bumps, bruises, scrapes, and probably many trips to the ER that we will have with this rough and rowdy little boy, I wouldn't change a thing about him. I'll keep him, all boy and all. 


And for those of you who have been wondering about the status of BB, he's still not ours yet. His mother filed an appeal and we're waiting for the appellate court to decide if she has a case for a new hearing. All of our caseworkers say don't worry, the judge's ruling won't be overturned. But until the appeal process if over, we can't adopt him which means you still don't get to see pictures of him. Soon though, hopefully soon we'll get to introduce you to this sweet, funny, precious little boy. And thank you to everyone for you continued prayers and positive thoughts toward us and BB as we wait for this process to be over. }


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