Monday, July 9, 2012

me : unspoken dreams

| image source : jennasuedesign |

 I wake up early and I stay up too late. I rush around the house doing everything in a whirlwind and I'm sure I look insane while doing it. I'm trying to build a bigger following on my blog/facebook page/etsy page/twitter so I can get more and more exposure. I'm taking time away from my hubby and kiddos and pouring myself into this work. Why? Because I have this dream. This fragile dream that I've been carrying around with me for a while, but never speaking of because I'm so afraid that the dream is too frail, and if I actually speak it into words, it'll die. 


| image source : lovejuliet |


A few years ago Joey and I were looking into adopting (or fostering or having a child of our own) and it gave me the opportunity to decorate the guest room in our home and start imagining nursery decor. I played around with things, made a few paintings and then even made these lovely rain cloud mobiles. I loved it. Being able to bounce back and forth between painting (which I love) and sewing (which I love) was exactly the creative balance I needed to keep me from getting burned out on one craft. (Creative burn outs happen to me a lot if I'm only doing one type of craft/art and not mixing it up.) I started envisioning all these different nursery & children's room decor items. Paintings, garlands, mobiles, more and more and MORE! And then, I hit a bump (more like a mountain) in the road and it completely shattered my dream and I put everything on the back-burner and tried to forget about it. But I couldn't. 


I started sketching new ideas, redesigns, color schemes, themes, and more in my journal until I eventually had several different mobile collection ideas. Joey knew about my sketches and some ideas, but I still never spoke about the dream. It was still too fragile. Or so I thought. 


| image source : JenniferTaylorArt |


You see, I've discovered something interesting about dreams, the more you talk about them, the stronger they become. Dreams aren't meant to be tucked away in the quiet corners of your heart. They aren't meant to be cocooned away until they suddenly burst forth as a bold, beautiful butterfly. No! Dreams are meant to be discussed over coffee with friends. Dreams are meant to be blogged about. Dreams are meant to be SHOUTED FROM THE ROOF TOPS!! Dreams are meant to be told, shared, and passed on from one person to the next. 


| image source : BearAndRobot |


So... in this realization, let me say this: I dream of designing nursery & children's room decor. I dream of quitting my "day job" and pursuing this dream full time. Of being able to spend as much time with my kids as I want. Of being able to travel when and where I want. Of living my life, my way, and living it just as I imagine. That's my dream. So when you see me blog about new listings in my shop. When my twitter feed is a bunch of listings. When my instagram is of new items that I'm working on. It's because I have a dream, and I'm trying to chase it down until it's not just a dream, it's life. 


Another realization that I had, is that it wasn't my dream that was too fragile to speak of. It was I that was too fragile. I've been blogging for years now and if I get a comment or a tweet or something about how someone I don't know just read my blog and loved it, awesome! If someone I know comes up to me and tells me they read my blog and loved it, I freeze. I stumble over my words, I never know what to say, and I just try to mumble "thank you" as best as I can and change subjects. Weird, right? Am I alone in this or do you do this too? I can believe it when someone I don't know likes my blog, but when someone I know does, I have a hard time believing it? What kind of sense does that make? NONE! If anyone should like my blog, shouldn't it be the people who know me and like me already?


| image source : artbyerinleigh |

So, in all these realizations I've been having, I'm gaining confidence. I'm trying to respond with more grace (and eloquence) when people I know comment about my blog. And I'm sharing my dream. Sharing it with you, who are reading this right now, and sharing it with others that I come into contact with. Because if I don't have the confidence in myself to share my dream and pursue it, who will? And I can't be responsible for a dream dying. 




Do you have any unspoken (or maybe spoken, you might be farther along your path of discovery than I am) dreams that you're working towards right now?


5 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for featuring my work! you are too kind!!

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  2. What a wonderful post. I think everything you say is so true. I love the part about gaining confidence. Thanks too for featuring my art.

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  3. Wonderful post! The thing for me is, I don't know what I want anymore. My life is so very different than I expected- although not in a bad way. I just keep on praying that God will show me His will for my life and I keep waiting. You have a dream, so you are much further along than I am! I would say that you are well on your way, too! :)

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  4. Keeps those dreams alive Regina! I have similar dreams too. Not designing nursery decor, but of doing something I love. I've always had "office" jobs, and a few years ago that was exactly what I thought I wanted. Steady pay, a nice easy routine, working my way up the corporate ladder... Yada yada yada. But then I discovered this whole blogging world and found out that the corporate life doesn't have to be all there is.

    I've slowly developed this little dream of owning my own handmade business. The trouble is, sometimes I don't know if that's really my dream, or if that's some crazy idea I've thought up because I'm immersed in the blogging world (I tend to be easily influenced by others). I don't really know what God has planned for me. But all I know is that I'm dying to move on to the next phase in life.

    All that to say, don't let your dreams fade! Keep working toward them! You're lucky you already know what your dream is, unlike me, with no direction but just wanting more. Keep working toward those dreams every day, even if they're just tiny steps toward the goal! :)

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  5. Beautiful post Regina and keep reaching for your dream kid! I also have a dream to make my invitation/stationery biz a full time gig. I don't have a niche in the working world (my major was too general!). My mind needs to be creative not behind a desk. I'd love to be able to stay home with my children if we are ever blessed to be parents. It's harder when you know what you want to do but can't quite make it happen for one reason or another....

    In regards, to people in your life commenting on your blog I am SO in agreement about that awkard feeling. I think I mostly don't know how to respond bc those people typically don't comment so you don't know who is who isn't reading your blog and then when they say something you're like holy crapola you actually pay attention to my blog?! Then immediatly I start thinking back on what kinds of stupid things did I say or do on my blog that this person saw? LOL

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