Thursday, March 22, 2012

inspiration : thursday thoughtfuls

Happy Thursday everyone! We had a bit of a cold spell this week, but supposedly the rest of the week and the weekend are supposed to be GORGEOUS! I'm excited! I'm hoping to do a little mowing and yard work this weekend, but I'm not getting my hopes up. The last few times I've wanted to work in the yard it's been ridiculously windy. I keep thinking I'll wait and do it on a non-windy day but I'm starting to figure out that here in west Texas, the wind doesn't stop very often. And it's strange because we only moved about 50 miles from our last home but this place seems so much more windy than the other. Maybe it's because we live across from an open field. That's as good of a theory as any I suppose. 

Anyway, enough of me rattling on about wind and yard work. I'm sure you don't care much for either of those things... ;) So on with the show!!



| image source : LitPrints |

I went to the same school from Headstart through graduation. There was a small group of us that had been together through it all. Our school was extremely small and just like any school, ours had it's cliques and groups. But unlike some bigger schools, a lot of our cliques and groups overlapped. For example, I played sports and was therefore a "jock". I made good grades, was in the G/T and honors program so I was a "brain". I had friends in the "nerd group" in the "weird group" in pretty much every group. And while I was popular and friendly with most people, I never made it into the "cool" group. Mostly, because I didn't have the pricey, "cool" clothes. But also, because I was a little different. I had no interest in drinking, partying and having sex as many people at my school were obsessed with. I enjoyed reading and what I call "smart" humor. I also found things funny that others didn't. I could create elaborate stories in no time and could put on a comedic routine at retreats late at night. I had no problem with laughing at myself, as long as others laughed too. And honestly, sometimes even when they didn't. I could crack myself up and keep myself laughing for a while. 

I remember there came a time when one of my best friends at the time started distancing herself from me. Ever so slightly, so it took me a while to notice. I eventually realized that some people thought I was "immature". To them, being immature meant not wanting to do the "mature" things they were doing like cussing, gossiping, drinking, partying, having sex, putting people down, disrespecting themselves, their parents, their teachers and anyone in authority. But I was okay with it. Eventually, my friend and I reconnected and are still best friends. 

Several years after high school I was living in Oklahoma City and was living a more "mature" life. I tried putting aside my notions for being wacky and whimsical. I didn't want to be the "weird" one anymore, the "immature" one. But it wasn't me. Eventually I met a new friend. She was funny, lively, she could make people laugh and turn around and say something deep that would hang with your for days, months if not years. She helped me, unknowingly, break through the shell I had put around myself, trying to not be "too much" or "not enough" of something. She helped me be completely okay with being me. If she had been in my high school, she would have been considered "immature". But as my friend, I think she's perfect. We laugh together, cry together, quote movies together, create elaborate plans and breathe deeply the wild air of life. We're silly together. We laugh at things and make light of most situations. 

I've been friends with her now for almost 7 years. When I saw this print, I loved it instantly. Of course, I love anything Jane Austen specifically Pride and Prejudice. But I also  love it because it reminds me of my dear friend and it also reminds me that having a lively, playful disposition is perfectly okay. And everyone needs to delight in anything ridiculous at some point. I've realized that being mature has everything to do with being true to yourself and respecting others. 

When did you come to terms with "being yourself" no matter what? Was it an epiphany of sorts, or did you just grow into it slowly? 




3 comments:

  1. Sounds like you were pretty smart from a young age.
    Being a teenage of the 1960's I was a wild child and I honestly did not really come into my own until I was much older like at 55!!!! I am 66 now and have 11 good and honest years under my belt and loving the Lord.

    ♥♥♥
    Sue

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  2. Thanks so much for including my print! Wonderful story, and I completely agree that you should be yourself and enjoy your life, laughing and having fun! If someone thinks you're silly or immature- who cares!

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  3. Hmm, high school is such a weird time for everyone. Actually I haven't thought about high school in ages, until reading this post! Haha! I was always the quiet girl who tried to blend in and not draw attention to herself. I think a lot of people mistakenly perceived my shyness as being stuck up. I guess I just learned from an early age to protect myself. {Mostly due to issues with my father, but that's another topic entirely!} Anyway, I built up a wall to prevent others from truly knowing me, and it's unfortunate, but this wall is still with me today at 26 years old. I wouldn't say I've come to accept myself fully yet. The good thing is that with the Lord and a loving bf {soon to be hubby hopefully!} in my life now, I'm slowly breaking down that wall and letting people in. I'm sure I'll get there eventually. Anyway, great post! Definitely something to think about!

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