Sunday, December 4, 2011

me : Melancholy Christmas

It's snowing right now. Like, real white stuff. From the sky. Covering the ground. It's beautiful. I actually just woke Joey up and got him out of bed to show him. He didn't appreciate the magic as much as I did I don't think... ;) 

I love snow. Seriously love it. There's something about that frozen white stuff that makes my inner child absolutely giddy. I remember as a kid, and even now if I'm completely honest, I'm always wishing for a white Christmas. Christmas 2009 was a white Christmas. It started snowing Christmas Eve. Joey and I were at my dad's house for Christmas, and my brother and sister in law were there as well. They were planning on driving back to Arkansas after we opened presents but when they realized how bad the weather was supposed to be, they brought extra clothes and planned to spend the night. We stayed up talking, laughing and playing poker. We shared stories and for the first time in a long, long, long time, I felt like I actually had my brother back. (That's a story for another time.) We stood out on the porch on Christmas Eve and watched it snow. When we woke up on Christmas morning everything was beautiful. It was such a wonderful Christmas; definitely one of my favorite Christmases. 

It's difficult to actually pick my favorite Christmas. There are so many wonderful ones to choose from. Coming from a divorced family, I had to split most of my holidays between my parents. My Mom usually got me on Christmas Eve which is the night my dad's family does Christmas so I usually opened up my presents by myself. One year my uncle videotaped me opening my presents. It's hysterical! You've never seen a child so excited about black olives and batteries. Seriously. I was such a weird child. And now come to think of it, I had interesting gift-givers as well. My uncle has used this video as blackmail for many years. I'd actually love a copy now... it's really that funny. 

There's also the year I got my first stereo. Like the big black stereos of the 90s WITH a CD PLAYER!! HELLO!! That was awesome! 

I remember the Christmas that Granny was going to have to go into the hospital afterwards because she was having heart issues. I was so worried about her. I was afraid she was going to die then. That Christmas she put this little plastic bear broach in my stocking that when you opened it up, it had this perfume cream stuff inside that you could wear. I think it was an Avon thing. I still have that today, closed up tight in a treasure chest where I keep a hodge podge of things. Every now and then I get it out and smell it again. And it takes me back to that Christmas. Don't worry, Granny didn't die then. But I think it was at that point that I realized Granny wasn't going to live forever, and I needed to cherish all of our time together. 

I can't think of Christmas without thinking of Granny and Papa's house since that's where we had Christmas every year. 

This is one of the things I think about when I think about Christmas. My family gathered together on Christmas Eve, opening presents, swapping stories, eating Granny's good food. Lots of people in a house that always felt too smell yet just right at the same time. Standing room only. Such wonderful times. So many things have changed since then. It's all so different, even the house. But the memories haven't changed. I remember taking this picture. I had the camera, taking pictures of my newest nephew opening presents. Then I snapped this shot of the entire living room. I'm so glad I did. It's a good shot of what our Christmases were like. 

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